Jokes

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor,
a Santa Singh,

came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He
opened it,

looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his
house.

A little later he came out of his house again, looking
nervous, went

to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house he went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our
Santa Singh came

again,looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox,
opened it and

then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,"Is something
wrong?"



To which the ferocious Santa Singh replied, " There certainly is!
My stupid

computer keeps telling me I have mail!"



==========================


Santa Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach inAmerica . A
lady

came asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Santa Singh answered, " No, I
am Santa Singh."


Another guy came and asked him the same question. Santa Singh
answered,

"No No Me Santa Singh!"

Third one came and asked him the same question again. Santa Singh
was

totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.


While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He
went up to

him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot
more

educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."

The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"


=====================================


Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly
gate Saint

Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the
advances in

education on earth. In order to gain admittance a
prospective heavenly

soul must answer two questions:


1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"

2. How many seconds are in a year?


Santa Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today
and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow
answer, even

though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get
12 seconds in

a year?"

Santa Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
2nd,

etc..."Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

=====================================

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high
and low

All around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"

Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden
cameras

here?"

Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why
every

few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World
channel'.

How does he know that?"

======================================

Having lost his donkey a Santa Singh, got down to his knees and
started

thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is
missing;

what are you thanking God for ?"

Santa Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I

wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would
have been missing

too."

===================================


Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final

examination.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question

paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes

his shoes off and throws them out of the window.

He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His
shirt,

pant, socks and watch follow suit.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is
going

on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he
says, " it

says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ."

================================================

Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was
crying like

hell. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first
one replied,

"I came here for blood test"

Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "

First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test
they cut

my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one
was

astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"

The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."



=======================================

A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he
goes to

wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are
you

doing?"

To this the man replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash
Basin

"."
And this one is classic:

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.

Bill: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me.

He takes him to a forest.

Bill: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.

Bill: more...more...more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.

Bill: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.

Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to
have
telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next
year Bill was in India

Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he
takes Bill to a forest.

Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does.

Sardarji : more...more...m.?l. Bill goes up to almost 400
feet..

Sardarji : try to find something. Bill tries.

Sardarji : Did you get anything?

Bill : No, there is nothing here.

Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we
used to be
WIRELESS

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